Ya know what I like? Shallots.
Because sometimes it's nice to have something different than garlic or onions to add a little flavor.Ya know what I don't like? Creepy old men that won't mind their own business. And its always (only) the creepy old men that won't mind their own business.
Yeah, like this, only with a longer, nastier beard, two lazy eyes, fatter, and with a cane, oh, and a nasty flannel shirt... Allow me to explain. I strapped on the boots to run to the store for some chicken. The dog, of course, is all excited to see that I'm getting ready to go outside so I decide - "What the hell?" - The store's only a block and a half away, and I'm just running in for some chicken, so even though it's wintry outside, I'll bring him along. So there I am, checking out at the store after app. 5-10 minutes inside, when some nasty old bastard comes barging in and asking about the dog outside. So I step up and tell him it's my dog, to which he shouts at me "How would you like it if I tied you up and made you sit in salt water." (Yeah, I don't really understand the saltwater part either).
So, at this point, I've got many things running through my mind to retort with, here's a few examples:
- Why don't you mind your own business?
- How would YOU like it if I shoved that cane up your ass.
- Why don't you just "f" off?
Oh, but common sense prevailed, and all I could think is "Dammit, I live in a small town and I don't really want a reputation or to get banned from the only grocery store in town." So I shoved past him and growled something about "Thanks for the lesson, pal." He, of course, mumbled something to me about being lucky he was a cripple or somesuch. As if being an old fattass would have helped him in the sport of fisticuffs with a spry young lad such as myself. I get outside and see about three mongoloid children crowding around my dog (who gets pretty shy around strangers) the oldest of whom says something about "go get momma" when I tell them to get away from my dog (he seemed to be attempting to take the leash off Cooper at the moment). So I got to walk home fuming at small town assholes that won't mind their own business.
But seriously, why do the creepy old men always gotta butt in? It happened in Placid about a year ago - some creepy old bastard follows us just to critique my driving. Now, if it's 90 out and the dogs locked in the car with the windows up, or is 30 below and you notice a dog tied up outside for an extended amount of time, by all means. Help the poor animal out. If you're driving like a complete dick, weaving in and out, speeding..Okay. But WTF? I try my hardest NOT to be an asshole, why do I always get hassled? Stupid small town feebs...
Am I in the wrong here? I was just trying to make my dog happy...
10 comments:
We 'locals' just like to pick on you people from 'away'. It's best just ignore us.
Good thing he didn't beat you about the head and shoulders with his cane.
He would have wound up with a cane suppository if he would have attempted to raise a hand towards me. And that is no lie.
You should have been like "c'mon Uncle Oren, Aunt Linda said you'd be down at the store a crazy talkin, time to get you home, we know you don't remember who you are, it's okay" in a very loud voice.
That would have been excellent, but that's clever, and at the moment I was angry, not clever. The only think I was thinking is "you can't let this shitheel be the towncrier - but you can't make a reputation for yourself either."
Another clever thing I thought of would have been to maybe grab a nipple and ask him more about this tying up and sitting in saltwater business, if he was into that sort of thing too.
We have them here too. Did you ever see Juan?
http://www.seattleweekly.com/news/0309/news-stanley.php
http://www.seattleweekly.com/news/0309/news-stanley.php
there should be a .php on the end.
Screw it.
I thought I was the only one that walked around Seattle yelling "Seattle police bully-bully", dammit.
I see that guy almost every morning on the bus ride to work.
He'll have a really long drawn out, "Seattle police are communiiiiiiiiist.", and then "theSeattlepolicearecommunist!".
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