I Hope I'm Not A Nosy Dick When I Get Old

Ya know what I like? Shallots.

Because sometimes it's nice to have something different than garlic or onions to add a little flavor.

Ya know what I don't like? Creepy old men that won't mind their own business. And its always (only) the creepy old men that won't mind their own business.

Yeah, like this, only with a longer, nastier beard, two lazy eyes, fatter, and with a cane, oh, and a nasty flannel shirt...

Allow me to explain. I strapped on the boots to run to the store for some chicken. The dog, of course, is all excited to see that I'm getting ready to go outside so I decide - "What the hell?" - The store's only a block and a half away, and I'm just running in for some chicken, so even though it's wintry outside, I'll bring him along. So there I am, checking out at the store after app. 5-10 minutes inside, when some nasty old bastard comes barging in and asking about the dog outside. So I step up and tell him it's my dog, to which he shouts at me "How would you like it if I tied you up and made you sit in salt water." (Yeah, I don't really understand the saltwater part either).

So, at this point, I've got many things running through my mind to retort with, here's a few examples:

• Why don't you mind your own business?
• How would YOU like it if I shoved that cane up your ass.
• Why don't you just "f" off?

Oh, but common sense prevailed, and all I could think is "Dammit, I live in a small town and I don't really want a reputation or to get banned from the only grocery store in town." So I shoved past him and growled something about "Thanks for the lesson, pal." He, of course, mumbled something to me about being lucky he was a cripple or somesuch. As if being an old fattass would have helped him in the sport of fisticuffs with a spry young lad such as myself. I get outside and see about three mongoloid children crowding around my dog (who gets pretty shy around strangers) the oldest of whom says something about "go get momma" when I tell them to get away from my dog (he seemed to be attempting to take the leash off Cooper at the moment). So I got to walk home fuming at small town assholes that won't mind their own business.

But seriously, why do the creepy old men always gotta butt in? It happened in Placid about a year ago - some creepy old bastard follows us just to critique my driving. Now, if it's 90 out and the dogs locked in the car with the windows up, or is 30 below and you notice a dog tied up outside for an extended amount of time, by all means. Help the poor animal out. If you're driving like a complete dick, weaving in and out, speeding..Okay. But WTF? I try my hardest NOT to be an asshole, why do I always get hassled? Stupid small town feebs...

Am I in the wrong here? I was just trying to make my dog happy...

Daily Pacu

munificent \myoo-NIF-i-suhnt\, adjective:
Very liberal in giving or bestowing; very generous; lavish.

Munificent Has
Dictionary Dot Com Been
With Four Syllables

Has anyone else noticed the abundance of four syllable words in WOTD?

I think I'm going to build one of these for the cat. I'll play it at the local PETA talent show. I'll take some pictures of it with this if I do.

Here's some good advice on a common household problem.

Word.

Ha Ha!

Cindy flickred for me, mere moments after I posted last...


If he was any older, I might have gotten a little worried about this little ensemble that he picked out himself...

Last years tax return = treadmill. So in the never ending quest to prevent me becoming too much of a spud, this year we bought a weight bench/machine/expensive dog chew toy/thing, that I've occupied myself with constructing the last few nights. As involved as it was, I would imagine that 2 out of 5 of these things that get sold don't get put together within the first six months, and one of those two gets resold without being put together. It's a good thing that it was an assemble at home project, because all of the wrenching, aligning, and fastening was a good primer for any "real" exercise I'll do on the thing.

Seriously, I think I put on 5lbs of muscle mass just putting it together.

Daily Hot Taco

alacrity \uh-LACK-ruh-tee\, noun:
A cheerful or eager readiness or willingness, often manifested
by brisk, lively action or promptness in response.

Nasty Bastard Cat
Much Alacrity For Games
You Play Hide The Turd

I see that Keith's shared his daily gripe with the world, so here's my bitch. I emptied out the mudroom and moved the animal's beds and dishes in there, thinking it would solve a two fold problem. One, it keeps them out of the cold shop on these cold nights, and two, the dog had taken it upon himself to poop as often as he could in the heated basement. My thought: "Dog doesn't poop on the rug in the shop, cat's litter box trained, no more doodoo." I couldn't have been more wrong. The dog's done great. Not a pooch poo on porch post procedure. The cat? First he makes the ficus into a litter box - not unexpected of a cat. So I - taking a page out of Keith's book - "recycled" an empty Guinness box making a nice cardboard anti-cat covering for the ficus' precious soil. What's my thanks? A cat turd, on the floor, in front of a heater in an small enclosed room. The wall of stink that hit me when I let the pets out this morning nearly knocked me over. The damn cat can freeze now...

...I have some things that I need to flickr, and after that maybe blog be more interesting again...

Dairy Highschool

And today...

salutary \SAL-yuh-ter-ee\, adjective:
1. Producing or contributing to a beneficial effect; beneficial; advantageous.
2. Wholesome; healthful; promoting health.

I Find Granola
Delicious, Salutary
And It Helps Me Poop

TMI?

Raelian How-To

I liked the word from Monday. Like to hear it, here it 'tis...

titivate \TIT-uh-vayt\, transitive and intransitive verb:
To smarten up; to spruce up.
And it sounds kind of naughty...

Eat Elegant Foods
Drink Naught But Fine Wines And Port
Titivate Before

Daily How Cool

I can't decide if I want to write some Haiku's for the words I missed over the weekend. Am I lame that this excites me so much?

jovial \JOH-vee-uhl\, adjective:
Merry; joyous; jolly; characterized by mirth or jollity.

Makes Me Jovial
Sunshine Upon My Shoulder
Makes Me Weep With Mirth

A John Denver rewrite, Japan style...

Daily Hiccup

imbue \im-BYOO\, transitive verb:
1. To tinge or dye deeply; to cause to absorb thoroughly; as, "clothes thoroughly imbued with black."
2. To instill profoundly; to cause to become impressed or penetrated.

I Fear The Cold Wind
Imbue House With Winter's Wrath
Stop Freezing My Wife

I just talked to Cindy - we're having a storm. Power's out in TL, and its about 20f out, with a decent windchill. Sounds like it's freezing back at the homestead. The power's flickering here - we've had the lasers shut off a few times now. Fun, fun fun.


Here's a picture of Buddy Hackett with a young simian friend. Thank Bryan for the inspiration for me to find this long lost gem (I think I slapped it on the cover of a paper I wrote in college once).

(Yester)Daily Hyrule

Okay. While I wait for today's WOTD, here's yesterday's from dictionary.com. Last chance, dictionary.com!

malaise \muh-LAYZ; -LEZ\,
noun: 1. A vague feeling of discomfort in the body, as at the onset of illness.
2. A general feeling of depression or unease.

General Malaise
Five Days Straight At Nine To Five
Am I Grown Up Yet?

Daily High? Cool.

As of this writing, dicitionary.com hasn't posted a WOTD in two days. I can't live my life like that. So I'm going to make the switch to...

Merriam-Webster Online WOTD

pixilated Â? \PIK-suh-lay-tud\ Â? adjective
1 : somewhat unbalanced mentally; also : bemused
*2 : whimsical

Me? Pixilated?
Truly I Am Not, Good Sir
Just Ask The Rabbit

Ziggy Played Guitar

When I got home yesterday, there was a box in the kitchen.

Okay, here it's in the living room...

What's inside? The only part of my birthday that worked out (tear). (Okay, there was the book sale at the Saranac Lake Winter Carnival, Cindy got me some other books off of my amazon.com wishlist, and I got to watch, dog in tow, half of the excruciatingly boring Saranac Lake Winter Carnival Parade). Why it's a new...

I've got a helper.
Sturdy guitar case! Yay!

But inside of that? Its a new...

There she is!
(To me) 12 string of good quality.

What's the first song I played on my new G-Box, you might ask?

Seminal 12 string fave "Wanted Dead or Alive" by Bon Jovi, of course.

On a steel horse I ride...

The second song?
Space Oddity, followed by a little Ziggy Stardust.

Forgive the hair...I'd just gotten out of the shower, that's not the look I was going for.
So hop on over and I'll serenade you with the many jangly octaves of my new axe.

And there's this:

No Haiku For You

Dictionary.com didn't put up a word of the day today. That's a bush league way to run a website. Bush league, I tell you!

So the streak ends at two straight days, but at least it wasn't me that dropped the ball!

Planet Earth Is Blue, And There's Nothing I Can Do

spoony \SPOO-nee\, adjective:
1. Foolish; silly; excessively sentimental.
2. Foolishly or sentimentally in love.

Becoming Spoony
The Car Behind Crowds Bumper
Tailgate Love In Snow

That is why they tailgate, right? The snow makes the metal machines feel randy, and they just can't be kept off of each other's backsides? Oh wait, no. It's because there's a lot of assholes that drive up and down route three, and for some reason they like to get more hazardous whenever the road's a little slippery.

BTW - We're now getting the snow that the city had over the weekend. Winter is back in the ADK's, but for how long, I ask you, how long?

Daily Haiku

Okay. So I can prove to everyone that I'm completely inadequate at maintaining a schedule, my friend Bryan and I are going to start writing daily haikus on our blogs. I'm sure it won't be long before I forget all about it and it becomes the bi-monthly haiku, but here goes.

Word of the day:
concupiscence \kon-KYOO-puh-suhn(t)s; kuhn-\, noun:
Strong desire, especially sexual desire; lust.
(From Dictionary.com)

Searching For Stout Beers
My Concupiscence Boundless
Blah. East Coast Lagers

Thank you, and good night.
Anyone know if I used that word properly?

Ground Control To Major Tom, You've Really Made The Grade

Things I've been doing lately that are NOT blogworthy (Like anything I do is):

• Reading scifi/fantasy paperbacks
  
• Watching The Family Guy DVD's that James sent me
• Endlessly playing the solo from "You Shook Me All Night Long" in the vain hope that constant repetition will give me decent lead chops
• Working
• Getting angry every Wednesday that doesn't hold a new episode of Lost

Things I've done recently that approach blogworthy:

• Eh, I did watch the SuperBowl (Boo, referee's...)

But I'm still here. Still alive. Still kicking.

Anyone in the greater TriLakes area can come wish me happy birthday next Saturday - if we can find a babysitter (What is it about people not returning calls?) Cindy and I are going to go out to the Cascade Cross Country Ski Center (broken link - pay your internet bills!) for their full moon party - snowy trails with bonfires and beerkegs, paint me happy. Otherwise I'll be giving an unplugged performance in my living room to several empty cans of Guinness.

After watching the SuperBowl pregame, and SNL the night before, my hero of the moment right now is Aaron Neville.

Oh yeah-ee-ah-oh-ah...

Hooray for silky voiced androgyny and facial tats! Hooray!

Perhaps I'll be playing "Don't Know Much" next Saturday...But you won't get to hear it unless you come over...