A: Mostly I draw pictures of robots.
I didn't have any great ideas for a post, and I still haven't found the gumption to sit down at the computer at home and upload recent pictures and the creepy/cool 3D ultrasound images of #3. Then I read Bryan's latest blog entry, and I had so much to say that I couldn't just clutter up his comment section, so "allow me to retort." Also, I would imagine that most of this will be boring, self indulgent tripe, so feel free not to read it.
WORST:Monster House: I actually kind of liked this movie. Then the holiday break started, and I was forced to watch it approximately 2 dozen times. Connor wanders around muttering "House" until we either put it in the player, or hold a chloroform soaked rag in front of his face. It's gotten to the point that Cindy and I have to spell out anything that rhymes with "House" to avoid exciting him. And yes, this get's tricky after dinner on Tuesdays as one of our favorite shows is about a crotchety doctor with a bad leg.
DaVinci Code: Bryan, I am SHOCKED. SHOCKED. S-H-O-C-K-E-D that you found the novel a pleasurable read at all. I'll grant that there were some intriguing topics breached in the course of the story, but the writing was deplorable. Why in the name of a Viking's beard did every single chapter have to end on a cliff hanger? And then, once Tom "I used to be on 'Bosom Buddies'" Hanks started doing press with that awesome mullet, I knew to avoid it at all costs. So while I haven't actually watched, I'll agree that it's one of the worst films of last year.
Pirates Of The Caribbean Part Two: Yo Ho Ho And A Bottle Of Rum: I'll admit that this wasn't anything profound, but worst of the year? If nothing else, I was entertained for two hours, and I was able to walk out of the theatre with a hypothetical floating in my head. If Davy Jones was real, and I ate his head, would it taste like calamari?
Invincible: I am surprised that this was watched by anyone, let alone a close friend of mine. As if feel good movies about possibly fictitious events in possibly fictitious character's athletic careers don't usually turn out bad enough, this one had Marky effing Mark in it. Didn't we all learn our lesson with "Planet Of The Apes?"
X-Men 3: I'm still under the impression that if a movie is adapted from a comic book, video game, or television show, and watching it doesn't make you want to hunt down and murder at least one person involved with it's making, then it's a success. So again, while definitely not a thought provoking flick, and not anywhere near the strongest in the franchise (that would be X2), still not a bad waste of a couple hours.
You, Me, and Dupree: There is one reason, and one reason only, that this movie should not be on anyone's worst list. After being bombarded with all the press, tabloid fare, and smarmy photo ops, not to mention simple knowledge of actors involved (Matt Dillon? Has he ever been in anything good?), and the worst title in film making history...It didn't actually make me want to open up a wrist while watching. I even laughed a couple of times.
BEST:Nacho Libre: You know how, throughout our academic careers, there was always that one kid that you'd have a class or two with that had some remark to make whenever there was a pause in the instructors speaking, and even though every once in a while the jerk would say something that was so funny you'd be crying from laughing so hard, most of the things that got shouted out were so embarrassingly irritating that the end result was that every time you saw their fat, unkempt mug, you wanted to smash your knuckles into their sweaty throat? That pretty much sums up how I feel about Jack Black. I'll give him "High Fidelity", and even "School of Rock," but there's just no way in hell I would watch him strut around in tights doing a bad Mexican accent.
Clerks II: I've got this at home and can't freaking wait to watch it. BTW, that song is "Goodbye Horses" and if anyone wants a copy of it so they can do a little pooky dance for their significant other, give me a shout out and I'll send you a "mix tape."
Rocky Balboa: I don't know. I just can't see it. I watched the original "Rocky" a year or so ago, and found myself cringing through the first half of it (Stallone really couldn't act back then), and then getting pumped for the last half of the movie. I can't imagine that the same character, 30 years on would be that compelling, but I could be wrong.
Superman Returns: Actually, I fell asleep while watching this. It was that riveting. But, being the parent of an almost nine year old boy, I'm sure that we'll end up owning a copy, and maybe I'll like begin to like it somewhere around the 19th viewing.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby: If anyone, anywhere, does not like this movie, well, then...
Beerfest: You are correct, sir. I made it through about 20 minutes of this movie before having to get up and have a beer. Also, Donald Sutherland's method of ending it all was true death with dignity.
MI:3: I just can't bring myself to watch Thomas Mapother any more. Is it really worth it?
Little Miss Sunshine: While not a bad movie, I didn't think it at all lived up to the hype, and while somewhat enjoyable, I don't think it was among the best of the year. Although, come to think of it, there really isn't much else from '06 that would set any watchable movie as "best" from each other. So maybe anything worth admission price could be considered "best?"
'07:Alpha Dog: Somewhere around my 4th viewing of the first episode of "The Barry Gibb Show" I stopped thinking of Justin Timberlake as solely a metro, boy-band weenie. So maybe he'll be a decent actor. BTW - find the videos for "The Barry Gibb Show" on youtube or somewhere else. They are genius.
Smokin' Aces: I don't care who's in it, or what it's about, that title sounds to much like every shitty movie that's ever been made in the attempt to make card games appear exciting to be any good at all. I do judge books by their covers, as well.
Black Snake Moan: Before I even knew what this was about I knew that a)Sam Jackson was in it, and b) "Black Snake Moan" is a song by Blind Lemon Jefferson, and I, therefore, have two good reasons to watch this film at some point.
Zodiac: Ever since"The Day After Tomorrow" I just can't take grinnin' Jake seriously. Too bad, because "Donny Darko" is a pretty rad flick, but I don't think I'd shell out to sit through anything he's starring in.
Grind House: A girl with an assault rifle for a leg? How can anyone stay away from this movie?
Spider Man 3: The trailers look great. But Spider Man 2 sucked so bad (and yet so many people see it as the pinnacle of action film making. But the acting and story were so crapulous), that I'm skeptical. I'll still see it, but I'll hope to be pleasantly surprised.
Ocean's 13: Again, Bryan, I'm surprised. I would have though that you would have seen Ocean's 11 as bloated and overworked as I did. I didn't even bother with Ocean's 12. come to think of it, I don't remember much of Ocean's 11, which goes to show how bland it was.
Fantastic Four: The Silver Surfer Makes You His Bitch: This looks hands-freaking-down awesome. I still have not watched the first movie - in spite of the fact that I've owned a copy of it for at least six months. The commercials for it when it was in theatres were bland enough to fail to pick my interest, but after seeing the previews for this new one, maybe I'll sit down and watch it this weekend.
Live Free Or Die Hard: I still don't understand what it is everyone like so much about this series. I like Bruce Willis - I think he has the rare quality of being able to take shit source material and make it watchable. I think he's got good tough guy charisma. But I still haven't been able to force myself to sit through all of Die Hard or Die Hard2. Die Hard3 I made it through because I was at a movie theatre and I think someone else bought my ticket. Still, meh. And what a ridiculous title. Will the marquee posters depict an eagle with a tear in it's eye?
The Transformers: While the pictures I've seen of the robots look great, I am very apprehensive about this. It kind of seems like too little, too late. And, with all of the crappy spin-offs that have aired in the last 15-20 years, I'm very sceptical that the magic that inhabited the original cartoon hasn't slipped off into the great beyond all together.
The Simpsons: Skeptical, but likewise, I too, will help give Matt Groening a paycheck for all the years of quality entertainment.
The Bourne Ultimatum: I like these movies, but having read the books, I wish that the film makers would have just given the movies and the main character a different name - no one would have noticed. There's only a scant few similarities between the books and the movies, and while books and movies are often different, these are so different as to be entirely separate stories. Kind of like with "The Last Of The Mohicans" Great book, great movie, but they should have just called the movie "Tan Danial Day Lewis Breaks Some French Shit Up."
Reno 911: Skeptical. Hilarious series, but I have a feeling something will get lost in translation.
Sin City 2: I absolutely loved the first one, and I'm sure I'll like this. But I'm a little worried that the best stories from the books have already been exhausted. As a side note, "Sin City" brings up good teenage memories of chillaxing at Steve's house. I remember flipping through those books and thinking "my mother would not allow me to own comics like these." I also seem to remember that there was far more to the Mickey Rourke (What the hell is the character's name again?) story line than what appeared in the film?
