The Welsh Sex Machine

I don't have much to talk about, but since I'm about bored out of my skull, I'm going to anyway. Prepare to be educated.

Tom Jones, of course, is a god among men. No, the rest of us don't even rate as men. Among small woodland creatures.

Massive Attack's "Mezzanine" is a damn good album. If you're half the audiophile that I am, you already knew that.

I'd bet a five-spot that in real life, if you met Tony Danza, you'd walk away from the experience saying to yourself "That guy's a bit of an asshole."

Cobra troops are great at rapping. But why is Legolas hiding out in the background with some biker that's got frightening bulge?



I think the word "palindrome" should itself be a palindrome - maybe "emordadrome" or "palindrordnilap." Where can I go to have this idea brought to the masses?

Why in the hell did I spend $50 to get the LOTR DVD's that come in the fancy boxed four disk sets? Why wasn't there additions that cost $35, came in smaller boxes, and only have the two discs that I give a damn about in them? This is bullshit, man. Bullshit.

When will Bryan compile pictures of Bob Saget and Taylor Hicks so he can do a dramatic retelling of the night he ran into Danny Tanner at Dante's?

This is a picture of my dog before he was my dog. Isn't that wierd?

Without a doubt, one of the finest video games ever.



We should still be afraid of the Russians, but for different reasons.

The single greatest thing about being the prowd owner of a moustache is that I now smile every single time I pass by a mirror.

We should probably also fear the Japanese.




The one thing that having kids has driven me to that I can't properly explain is watching NFL football. I used to watch 20 minutes of it a year. Now I spend good portions of my Sunday watching teams I care less about than the "local" (or previously local) hooligans battle it out. Can someone explain this to me?

Cindy says that my moustache makes me look gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I keep trying to remember what the name of cniderians "harpoon cells" are, but I can't for the life of me remember.

Hey Bryan, remember how that one irritating lady that we used to work with would always tell me "You're so random!" Man, how that pissed me off. But I'll be damned if she wasn't right.

"You come out with stink like that. Poop! You poop mouth. Get all that poop out of your mouth."

The Boob Tube

I watch TV. It's fact - probably too much lately. It's hard to do much else when you have a toddler around who won't sleep, won't allow you to sleep (or do much else), and would be more than happy to get the knives/flaming things/poisons/shocky things out to play with if you turn your back for a second. So, TV as background noise, all the time, to avoid insanity.

One show I have never - and will never - watch, is "The OC." But I'm curious to know if any of my friends out there do. Okay, okay, one time I paused while flipping past, and I actually walked away from the experience knowing how to pronounce "Gnocchi." Like most things that have some popularity, there's a decent amount of media saturation of that damned show, so I haven't been able to avoid the TV and radio spots that fill me in on what I've missed. And I want to know some things.

Is it serious? As in "Are you f&$%&*n' kidding me?" One of the commercials for the show had the skinny kid as an apparently successful cage fighter. What? Back when I was skinny, I tried my hand at cage fighting, and it didn't work out quite like that.

Are the writers former drug addicts, mental patients, and street people? On my drive to work this morning I heard one female character explain to another "Men for me are like drinking for you. Either way, I wind up upside down on a chandelier." How in the hell is that even possible? "Hide the Scotch and the Stepladders, (Insert generic teenager from the OC's name here)'s mother is coming over."

Ah, entertainment of the modern age.

The Things You're Forced To Sit Through

I won't go into details, as lord only knows who reads my piece of Internet flotsam, but I recently attended a talk that was far from interesting. But how the presenter tried - "funny" pictures, corny jokes, blah. The whole time said presenter kept reassuring us that it was okay to laugh. Yeah. Okay to laugh. We get it - we're adults. You have to say or do something funny first. Blah.

It's Cold And Flu Season

So watch this. I had to watch this at yet another presentation that I attended.

Stars

Bono has the blood of African children on his hands?

I Now Hate Bluegrass Music

Remember how in college, hump night could be a big deal (depending on your class load)? Apparently I live in a town peopled by adults that still takes it seriously. Well, they may go hit it every night for all I would know, not exactly my thing anymore. I had a meeting for the rugby club last night at a local watering hole - I know, I know. But I behaved myself out of respect for preggo wife. The place was packed - there was some serious drinking going on. You know there's something up with that when the rugby crowd is the best behaved, soberest group in attendance. The taps were running out of beer (and taking their sweet time getting the freaking hot wings out to boot)! Anyhow, there was also a small, not too shabby, bluegrass trio playing in one corner. Naturally, since we were there to have a meeting, we chose the opposite end of the building, in another room entirely, to sit and do our thing. Which was great, until the fat bastards moved in right next to us! And then proceeded to play their (acoustic, mind you) instruments louder and louder, until I couldn't even here what was being said by people at the other end of the table. I no longer find the banjo as fascinating as I used to.

Q: How Do You Know So Much About "Oops, I Crapped MY Pants" Brand Adult Diapers?

A: Because I'm wearing them, and I just did!

I'm only writing out a blog post because of how excited I am about this, but I'll talk about some other excrement as well.

Fine, watch this video, too. G'on, take a minute, I'll wait.


A-ight. The only exciting news that I have now is that, in starting the week off with a bang after a few days vacation, I trimmed the moustache into shape for the competition we're having here at work. Then, because of the extra chromosome, mostly, I had a clipper related mishap and wound up mostly bald instead of just short haired like a wanted. So now I look like a circus strongman. Or a redneck. Or Fifi from Mad Max. Or Davram Bashere. If you know who those last two are - welcome to my Nerd Kingdom™! I tried to find pictures of Fifi and circus strongmen, but in further reinforcement to my realization that the internets are a scary place, found many inappropriate images instead. Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. A lot of people out their have got a lot of growing up to do, I'll tell you that much.

Oh, and don't congratulate me for Cindy's current knocked-up-hood. I was only integral for the fun part of things. Congratulate her - she'll be the one doing the watermelon through a garden hose bit.

"There's To Be No More Throwing Of Feces In The Classroom."

Peter sent me links to watch the most recent episode of South Park, which is most excellent, but now there's someone else in my lab (haven't looked over my shoulder to see who) and, not being one who likes to offend people I don't know, can't finish watching it. Very funny so far. I just saw a cartoon person emulate a monkey by crapping in his hand and throwing it. Not funny? Well, then, you sir, have no imagination.


Feel their shame.

I wanted to dress Cooper up as Darth Vader for Halloween, but he objected when I tried to burn him to give the outfit some authenticity.


Haven't listened. Cool name. Cool cover art.

Now that there's a heavy metal band named after every cool villain (and some heroes) from my childhood, what will I name my act? Here's some other that are already taken - Atreyu, Harkonnen, okay, can't remember any more. But now "Skeletor?" Granted they must have had to change the spelling...Maybe "StarScream" hasn't been taken?


Seen these?

I think some of those might be falling from the sky right now.

Finally, the reason I've brought you all here is this:

I guess you could say that you're looking at a picture of my wife's naughty bits. "Hey, nice U-tee-ris!"

That's right. Cindy and I, apparently being the two most fertile people on the face of the earth (or at least within a 2ft radius) are going to have another child. Whether it's a boy or a girl awaits to be seen - I think we will wait until about three weeks after it's born this time - either way we've decided we're going to name it "Fugganon." She's mostly through the first trimester - I apologize for keeping it under wraps for so long, but we wanted to wait to tell everyone until it was more of a sure thing. I was going to write a long humorous post about how the life and times of little Fugganon will turn out to be, but after looking up pictures of a few ugly kids, I started to worry that I might put a curse on the little fetus and s/he'd be born retarded or with a nasty cleft palate or as a true s/he.