Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Safety Training

Oi. So I had to attend, solely for my own enjoyment, a nice training session of "Respirator Training 101: How To Keep Yo' Ass Breathing In A Hostile Environment" yesterday. I thought I would share my notes with the ones of you that visit my little corner of the internets. The knowledge I gleaned from the video that was shown is represented in BLUE.
  • There are no doughnuts.
  • I don't have a mask yet. Everyone else gets to rock their respirator masks for the next 30 minutes, but I have to stay bare.
  • This video's soundtrack is AWESOME! It sounds like Beverly Hills Cop or something.
  • Holy Shit! The host is Hot Lips from M*A*S*H!
  • Do NOT perform autopsies
  • TB = BAD
  • Saranac Lake used to have a sanitorium...
  • X-Ray techs are ALWAYS creepy, even in instructional material
  • Drug Resistant TB = VERY BAD
  • TB causes albinism, apparently
  • Respirator masks are not chic. Marketing demographic?
  • NIOSH - National Institute for Occupational Health and Safety.
  • NIOSH - What I did to my sandwich at lunch
  • The CGI dummy that's modeling the masks on this video has huge junk
  • Seriously, that dummies massive bulge is disturbing me
  • Really, it draws the eye in a bad way
  • Surgical masks can give you TB
  • Some nurses do still wear those funny hats
  • Sudden change in weight can make your respirator ill-fitting. What happens if I go on a crack binge while the safety officer is out of town, I drop 40 lbs, and then I have to go into the TB suite? What happens if I go on a gravy binge while the safety officer is out of town, I gain 40 lbs, and then have to go into the TB suite? Who will make sure my mask fits then?
  • Seriously, where are the doughnuts?
And you can take that to the bank, jerk.

7 comments:

PCS said...

Excellent post, especially about the junk. Why were you looking there?

Sara said...

Wow the SO is slacking, we always got some sort of snack, in the days when I was there, w/o snacks Pete & I would not have gone - lol!!

B-Wizz said...

You know how when you get a sore in your mouth from eating too much candy your tongue will seek out that spot, even though it's tender, and you just can't do anything about it? That's what the dummies plums were like for my now damaged eyes.

Bryan and Audrey said...

I was listening to the Beverly Hills Soundtrack the other day in my car (stock 2002 explorer cd / tape player, sweeeeet). Before I knew what was going on I was rocking out to the Pointer Sister's "New Attitude"...

Anonymous said...

Oh my Gawd, like really!!!!?
??

B-Wizz said...

Who does that, anonymously? That's just silly.

Unknown said...

I firmly believe the Respirodummy was inanimatedly suffocating and was getting the ol' death erection, or angel lust.