Right Coast Ruminations

Spiderboy Sings

2010-11-17T11:18:00.003-05:00

Alright, Let's Shoot This F****r!

2010-07-13T11:43:00.003-04:00

Nothing much of substance, but it's been a while and I've got some pictures to share, so I'll try to be more regular.

A month or so ago we took the kids to The Wild Center's free day (because it's totally NOT worth the admission price otherwise).

I know this picture isn't the clearest, but, evidently we picked the day of spring when all turtles become amorous, because any enclosure with more than two of the little creatures in it had loads of turtle sex happening.

Notice the two heads - Connor noticed this first "Dad look, that turtle's walking on the bottom underwater." Me: "That's, ah, two turtles and they're not just walking."

Around the corner there was a smaller enclosure that let me witness things up close:

There were more, but how much turtle-porn does one person really need?

There was also some fishing in the pond:

And Des scaled a rock wall by stepping on an old man's head:

Fin.

Every Once In A While, Something Can Happen At Work That Makes You Happy...

2010-04-30T13:32:00.005-04:00

In January, we got a duplicate of an instrument we already had (A BD FACSCanto II, if anyone cares...), and to distinguish between the two we had a naming contest. The winners, by a long shot, were "R2-D2" and "C-3PO" - I like to think that my culture of Star Wars love had something to do with this, even though I didn't suggest it (all of the warning posters I've created feature either Darth Vader or Storm Troopers, although we have one made by someone else that has Chuck 'effing Norris on it). Anyhow, today while preoccupied with something else, I notice something out of the corner of my eye. Someone had christened "C-3PO" with her own mast head:

Majestic, ain't he...

More surprises followed...

If you crack this puppy open, what do you get?

A recreation, in miniature, of the Mos Eisley Cantina scene!

Ladies and Gentleman, the Modal Nodes...Jeez I'm a nerd for knowing the band's name!

Greedo even get's blasted out of his seat if you push down on the table!

Han shoots first, bitches. Now and forever!
Also, notice the storm trooper door-bursting action!

She can make the Kessel run in under 12 parsecs.

Oh, and it snowed this week. A lot, but it's mostly gone now. I did think that the snow made an interesting juxtaposition with the new growth happening on our trees, so I took some pictures.

I think I may need to clean my camera lens or somethin.' Sometimes my pictures have unexplained smudges - or maybe it's my eyes.

On Your Own Terms

2010-04-23T18:04:00.002-04:00

It warms my cockles to see that people like this can still be found in the world - even thought this particular instance is of someone who's left the earth. Godspeed, Dugout Dick.

Endless Repeat

2010-04-20T15:38:00.003-04:00

If you haven't seen this take the time (there's about a dozen f-bombs, so turn the speakers down if you're at work). Parts of it have been playing through my head all day "F***in' magnets, how do they work?"

Just trust me - I wouldn't expose anyone to ICP if it wasn't worth the payoff.

Also, this.

Do You Know What Your Problem Is?

2010-03-30T16:19:00.003-04:00

You don't eat your feedback.

So I had my first annual physical today after several years, and now that I'm in my 30's I figured I'd be getting a free finger in my anus, so of course when the nurse took my BP it was a bit high (not out of limits, but getting up there). And then I didn't even get the 'ol UFIA, so there was no reason for me to be so worked up. Guess I should stop at Rite Aid later just to be sure my BP's where it should be. Although, who knows, they may put fingers in butts there, too.

Here's some pictures that I've been promising for a while.

Des eats cookie dough, Connor's just...What is Connor doing?

Cooper says hello.

One time in the '80's, Ethan killed a guy.

Desmond does not approve.

Cindy talked me into growing my hair out, so I have to keep it out of my eyes when I exercise.

Hence the ridiculous sweatbands.

Desmond makes them look much cooler than I do.

I think this one's my favorite, but unless you see the "Karate" and Kung Fu" headbands first, it doesn't necessarily make sense. Yes I do have Adult Braces™.

Oh shit it's a snow dinosaur!

As always, clicking on the pictures goes to my Flickr page where there's more to be seen.

Hooray For Hair Metal

2010-03-29T10:25:00.003-04:00

Remember "Round and Round?" Ratt still makes music that sounds exactly like that, and it gives me hope for the world.

Okay, so the first 30 seconds feature a lot of old men making out with young groupies, and Steven Pearcy looks like the Crypt Keeper - only with more hair. How ridiculously awesome is it, though, that at least one band from that era isn't afraid to sound exactly the same way they did back then?

Mysteries

2010-03-26T11:00:00.005-04:00

I read a big long thing the other day about some unsolved mysteries the other day - watching cells fall into tubes™ can get kind of dull. I thought I'd share, for anyone else who's bored at work. This one kind of freaked me out a bit.

And this is worth a watch.

Anybody remember the ghost car from The Simpsons?

And. I might actually Flickr this afternoon and be back with something more personal later - aside from a rant about Bull$#!% camping websites.

FUCKRESERVEAMERICA

2010-03-23T23:29:00.006-04:00

Sorry for the French language.

FUCK RESERVE AMERICA.

Here's their website: FUCK YOU

Now don't get me wrong. I can respect that many or most of our national parks are in high demand for camping spots/places to stay. But. This bullshit website has no consistent way to plan a trip - I'd like to plan a canoe trip through the Saranac Lakes - due to their bullshit layout and choice to use MS Silverlight software. Who the f&^% uses Silverlight? Have you ever heard of Silverlight before? I hadn't. Everyone uses Google maps, right?

If the idea is that I should just call a travel agent, cool. Can we be up front about it, though?

Again. Sorry about the langauage. Not sorry about the slander - it's not slander if it's true, right?

More slander to come...

Everybody Turn Green, It's St. Paddy's Day

2010-03-17T16:31:00.002-04:00

Jeez, Shane McGowan is one ugly f%$#!

Miller Lyte? Really?

2010-03-17T09:30:00.003-04:00

Rooster McConaughey? Guys name is "Rooster?" Named his kids Miller Lyte and Margarita Olympia? Makes naked bongo-playing look sane in comparison.

This Guy

2010-03-17T09:29:00.002-04:00

He's as cool in real life as he is on TV. Apparently.

Question For The Ages

2010-03-12T13:34:00.001-05:00

All of the Chinese food joints around here have "Dragon and Phoenix" on the menu - meaning chicken and shrimp. Which is the dragon and which is the phoenix?

Aw, Shucks

2010-03-11T16:37:00.004-05:00

Over the last year and a half or so, in the course of my never ending quest to advance as a musician, I taught myself how to read music. So now I spend my lunch breaks playing scales and doing classical exercises and occasionally learning a rock n' roll song (or more often, just the solo) in the hopes that I'll develop decent chops at some point. Then I stay up too late and see something like this, and I think "f&@% it, I should just be bashing out power chords and having fun." I'm way to cerebral to try and put together songs or arrangements like this myself, but balls out, straight a head rock frickin' kills.

That's an Elvis Costello song (I really wanted to post the cover of Bowie's "Queen Bitch" that they did on Fallon's show, but YouTube's pulled it down). These two guys are from Supergrass - another band that I like very much - in their cover's based side project, The Hot Rats. Check 'em out.

Follow This

2010-02-25T10:01:00.002-05:00

For the most part I detest Twitter, but I'm going to try my hardest to follow this...

Awesome. And Kind Of Sweet.

2010-02-10T10:37:00.003-05:00

This is about the raddest thing I've seen on the internets, ever. A 29 year old artist draws comics that his five year old brother writes. Check it out.

Jeez I should be collaborating artistically with my guys more. I think the results are almost always going to be adorable when you throw the mentality of a little kid into the mix.

Something About This Just Plain Rubs Me The Wrong Way

2010-02-04T10:39:00.003-05:00

I can't put my finger on it, but whenever I see the previews for this movie, I wince. Maybe it's the reference to a "Royale wit' Cheese", but I think it probably goes deeper than that.

This movie has to suck.

I'm With Coco

2010-01-21T10:15:00.003-05:00

I gotta admit, I stopped watching Conan when he took over "The Tonight Show." It just kind of seemed like he was comedically neutered by the move. But since he's been given his walking papers, his old style of comedy has reared it's hilarious head. I'm happy he's back to form, but where will he land that we'll get to enjoy it?

Example:

where's the Canadian masturbating bear been during all of this?

Axiom 25 - Using The Keys And Pads At The Same Time On An M-Audio Axiom 25

2010-01-20T09:28:00.005-05:00

My apologies to the friends and family that normally read my blog. But. I just got an Axiom 25 (for putting drums and keys and things into stuff like the song in my last post) and I've found just getting started with the thing frustrating as all hell, mostly due to the lack of quality tech support from the manufacturer. I'm making this post in the hope that some other poor sap like me that's just trying to figure out how to get started using MIDI stuff might find it in a google search and avoid some frustration.

If you look at the M-Audio forums, several people have asked how to have the keys and drum pads on the unit at the same time, and the @$$hole tech support people never give any answers other than something like "you should be able to do this in the Enigma software" without ever bothering to explain how you do it. Frustrating. After several hours of being really pissed off and annoyed, I finally figured out how to do this and thought I'd share it with the world.

This is in Ableton Live Lite, because it comes with the Axiom unit (I know, I know, I'm a "noob," but I ain't plunking down a bunch of money for DAW software without being 100% sure I know what I'm getting is what I need, first!). Anyhow. Connect your Axiom to the computer and turn it on (Duh). Set the Axiom to program 18 (supposedly you can use programs 17-20, but 18 worked for me, so stick with that for now - and if you don't know how to recall a program they *Do* actually cover this in the shitty manual, and on the M-Audio forums - I don't have my Axiom in front of me right now, so I'd probably give the wrong directions if I attempted to explain this). Open up Ableton. Open up the preferences/options menu (maybe I have that backward, it could be options/preferences) and set it up to recognize your device (you'll have two axiom slot, arm all these, and then click the "on" buttons for "track" and "remote." Close this window. Make two MIDI tracks and arm both of them (you have to right click on the red "Arm" button to be able to arm two track simultaneously). Open up the midi instruments folder and set one of these to something you would control with the keyboard - keys, organ, strings, whatever. Set the other midi track with whatever you would want the pads to control - probably drums or techno-y stuff. Now, click the button in the upper right hand corner that changes the view of the tracks from horizontal to vertical. You can now see a little thing that says something like "Midi all channels" or somesuch nonsense. You want to change this to "1" for your keyboard controlled part, and "10" for the drum controlled part. Now you *should* be able to have them trigger independently. The other thing to do now is set the drum pads to play the notes/drums you want them to play, which is explained pretty well somewhere in here (look at response #13 - that's how I did it).

If that helps one person, I'll feel like I've done my good deed for the day. This whole thing seemed like an awful big debacle just to be able to program some drums and keys into some roots-rocky type stuff that I cook up in my living room, but hopefully I'll be glad I bought a (slightly) more professional piece of equipment in the long run, even if the learning curve is steep!

Two Minutes and 40 Seconds of Happy

2009-11-25T11:01:00.002-05:00

Let's hope I did this correctly - it was a big pain in the ass to figure out.

That's Connor singing and I played all of the instruments - I didn't spend as much time as I could have (if I HAD time, that is), so it needs some adjusting done to the sound levels and effects, and probably an edit or twenty, but there you go - I'll try to do stuff like this more often if this works!

Damn.

2009-11-20T14:23:00.002-05:00

I was doing so well at blogging two or three times a week there for a while, and now what's it been, a month more? Anyhow, music lovers out there might appreciate this. Beck's put together top-notch musicians (except Devendra Banhart - that guy once wrote a song about green beans, so he can die in a fire) to record a cover of a seminal record by another artist, all within a day. Good stuff. I especially like the cover of "Marianne."

Thank You, Internets

2009-10-16T13:24:00.001-04:00

It's no MacGyver Punch, but it still makes me laugh after many repeat viewings...

Kids Show

2009-10-09T15:28:00.002-04:00

I wish this is what was on in the morning. Instead I have to listen to some Canadian Kid Show garbage while I eat my cheerios.

I Don't Blog Much, Anymore

2009-09-29T11:28:00.003-04:00

I was doing good for a while - even if it was inane bull$#!% generated by other people. I typically onyl take the time to write out a blog post if I'm watching cells fall into tubes™ as I feel like I'm not wasting company time - I'm multitasking. The schedule in the lab has been rather light as of late, though, so no updates. I did finally get some pictures Flickred, though, so those few of you who type in the URL periodically to visit this little spot in the interwebs can check them out. I'll try to post the better/more explainable of them sometime in the near future.

I like this picture.

In Heaven

2009-09-11T15:17:00.002-04:00

In Heaven, I'm pretty sure that this plays on endless repeat.

Now, where did I leave my damn camera?

It's True, Too.

2009-09-02T10:21:00.000-04:00

Funny and true.

The Ballad Of Bilbo Baggins

2009-08-28T16:00:00.001-04:00

If this song isn't played while the credit's roll whenever Peter Jackson gets around to finally filming The Hobbit, I swear to God I'll cut somebody.

Cantankery!

2009-08-26T14:15:00.001-04:00

As in, the act of being cantankerous. If cantankery's not a real word, it damn well should be. Anyhow, this is what I'm getting at.

Hello, Dr. Chevalier

2009-08-25T14:57:00.002-04:00

Who's my new favorite (fictitious) author?

This guy.

BTW - I have a new pet peeve. It seems recently that the word "fictional" has come into vogue (as in I don't remember seeing it too often prior to the last 6 months or year) to describe a person place or thing that someone has made up. I.E. "If you read it on the internet, it's probably fictional." The problem is, even though I looked it up and it is a real word, it sounds effing stupid and I hate it. Can we all go back to using the word "fictitious," please?

This Guy Has A Tiger's Face On His Bass Drum

2009-07-31T09:50:00.002-04:00

How is it that this musician didn't become a household name after releasing this video? It boggles the mind.

My New Favorite Thing Ever

2009-07-29T09:40:00.002-04:00

BTW, Y'all. We're going to be in the greater Warshington area from the 11th throught the 20th of this month, or somewhere thereabouts, if anyone wants to meet up. I'm sure I'll send out an e-mail to everyone I think might be interested with some more details, but you might ping me if you're interested and you read this blog. I may even try to send out some details via *gasp* Facebook, but dont' count on it!

Maybe I should try to post some pictures sometime soon.

Follow It Up With This

2009-07-17T16:50:00.001-04:00

This Needs Absolutely No Explanation or Translation

2009-07-17T16:45:00.000-04:00

Ha ha!

2009-07-10T14:22:00.002-04:00

The funniest thing about this picture is the approving and amused look on Sarkozy's face.

Wonder if our man B.O. will be sleeping on the couch anytime soon.

This Is Close Enough...

2009-07-08T10:34:00.003-04:00

To Seattle to still count. Effing morons. Fine stores for property that's been stolen from them? Just another example of the kind of pompous NIMBY bullshit I moved away from - although it's certainly found up here in the great white north as well, isn't it?

Seattle's getting it's own label...

Do You See, Seattle?

2009-06-30T14:49:00.005-04:00

This is why you can't have nice things. And I swear that every third person in that part of the country is just like that idiot. It's one of the reasons I live in Northern NY now, which also isn't ideal, but at least most people keep their clap-traps shut and wouldn't be caught dead wearing Birkenstocks AND wool socks.

On an unrelated note, I saw most of the new Transformers movie over the weekend, and only about half of what you've heard is true. There are definite continuity problems. Devastator does have testicles. Many of the robots do spit/vomit frequently for no good reason (is it supposed to be menacing, perhaps?). Megan fox does look like, have the acting ability of, and even a good name for, someone who should be appearing in adult movies. And yet...It did prominently feature robots beating the hell out of each other and numerous giant explosions, so it earns a solid "F%$* YEAH!" out of ten, on a one-to-ten scale

Pick Any Blog, Website, Newspaper, Or TV Station

2009-06-26T09:36:00.003-04:00

And you'll see something similar to this. Can you deny the cultural significance of Michael Jackson? The guy was never my favorite artist, but I think that for my generation and the generation or two that preceded us, the dude was our Elvis, Sinatra...you know. Even if he did have some eccentricities and possible, erm, icky proclivities.

And the Jackson 5 ruled.

Okay, Okay. Crap quality video, but check out how Bill Cosby used to look!

A Tear for MJ.

Pictures, If You Please

2009-06-24T16:04:00.003-04:00

He's become quite the little ham. There was absolutely NO prompting by Cindy and I for either of these outfit choices - the glasses making me laugh he hardest. I was busy with something upstairs, and when I came downstairs, he ran around the corner and looked up at me with a very serious expression on his face.

He'll also kick back an' take 'er sleay, too. Awright awright awright.

Maybe tomorrow I'll dig through and put a pic or two of the older ones up. Maybe.

Some Birds And Some Laughs

2009-06-23T15:30:00.002-04:00

I need to put more stuff from the photostream up here. One of the rare nice days we had this spring brought some Cedar Waxwings into the yard, to eat the no-good Japanese Beatles that congregate in, and ruin, the apple blossoms. I think these little guys look awesome:

And, on a completely unrelated note, Dennis Leary is still funny. All I'd heard from him lately is "9/11 was an inside job, blah blah blah." But damn did the last part of this interview crack me up.

Here's a picture of a bookshelf I built. I need to build about three more, now, when I have free time, which is never.

$10

2009-06-10T14:09:00.001-04:00

That's how much I would wager that this was filmed on Tupper Lake last winter.

Someday, I will post pics/videos of my own again.

I Could Not Do This

2009-06-09T13:48:00.001-04:00

I wouldn't want to be able to, either.

What a psycho!

Really? That Must Have Been Hard To Do.

2009-06-05T09:57:00.003-04:00

And by "hard to do" I mean "eff up a simple premise like a GI Joe movie." When I first heard that this had been greenlit, I thought that as long as Snake Eye's costume was true to the cartoon/comic/action figure I'd be stoked to see it. But those silly looking "accelerator suits" (and more importantly the lame CGI monkey movements they make with 'em) really wrecks even that for me. Boo.

Prob'ly I'll go see it anyway.

Fare Thee Well...

2009-06-04T10:44:00.001-04:00

...Grasshopper. A tear for David Carradine.

Dammit!

2009-06-03T11:07:00.001-04:00

Movies like this beg to be seen on a large screen, and I know this won't be playing up here in my neck of the woods. It looks like about the greatest thing ever.

Yesterday. In the 'Dacks

2009-06-01T16:02:00.002-04:00

Boo! ALthough it's sunny right now...hope it lasts!

Yep.

2009-05-27T16:52:00.002-04:00

See what I mean about him really being musically talented even though he doesn't sing so well?

Laugh

2009-05-20T16:43:00.003-04:00

Will Forte's face at the end of this cracks me up.

I've spent a lot of time over the last week or two hand-writing some things for the lab - I find that I just can't formulate things into a word processor the way I can with a pen and paper. What surprises me is that considering I spent 20+ writing for hours every day in school, my wrist starts to ache after about ten minutes now. I'm not a pussy, though, so no icing at work...

How To...

2009-05-11T13:51:00.001-04:00

...Hunt like a damn man. I think most people that I know don't even appreciate where that cellophane-wrapped stuff int he supermarket comes from. Damn.

I always like these David Attenborough things.

Rollin' Dirty

2009-05-07T13:04:00.001-04:00

I Would Watch This

2009-05-01T12:57:00.001-04:00

I guess this is a preview for a fan-made CG Batman flick. I'd shell out a couple of ducats to watch, based on what I see here...

What?

2009-04-29T13:12:00.001-04:00

You mean the esteemed Drs. Carrey and McCarthy are wrong? No...

God Bless You, Adam West

2009-04-29T09:18:00.001-04:00

The guy is a national treasure. And if he really did get ripped off in Madoff's ponzi scheme, I'd send him $20.

Batman Garage Sale with Adam West from Adam West

Bass In Yo Face

2009-04-28T16:01:00.003-04:00

One of my buddies here at work hooked me up with a bass guitar, so I went to the internet - the source of all things wholesome and factual™ - for some guidance on how to get started. I just wanted a few beginner tips (although I have to admit I'm enjoying taking what I know about guitar, combining it with what I *think* I know from bass players - which is basically how to move your shoulders and head rhythmically - and coming up with bass lines in complete naivete), so I checked out YouTube, and after viewing a few lessons, I found Superfly here blowing my f%$&*@# mind with down-low funky saintliness. Enjoy.

What's Wrong With You?

2009-04-28T10:02:00.003-04:00

Are these kids for real...it can't be that bad. Take it like a damn man!

Talkin' Out Of His Ass, Again.

2009-04-24T11:31:00.001-04:00

There's so much wrong with this. I won't go into my opinions (I'm a science-type-person, you can probably guess what they would be). But if any of the two or three people who ever read this sumbitchin' blog of mine want to discuss, leave comments.

Shocking.

2009-04-23T14:26:00.002-04:00

But not really. At all. Anyone who's even driven through Yakima will find this 100% believable, and even worse, can probably sympathize with the teacher involved (although I don't think many of us would excuse her).

All The People Clapping.

2009-04-22T13:25:00.002-04:00

Do they realize that this kid is speaking jibberish? Are they so used to hearing things like this that they can assign some kind of meaning to it even when it's being spouted by someone who still relieves himself in his pants?

You Know...

2009-04-21T13:51:00.002-04:00

...I hope we can all agree anyway. Tracy Morgan is brilliant on "30 Rock." But. Some of the shit he used to do (read "get away with") on SNL was all that and so much more.

Astronaut Jones
by djgreenuts

You've All Seen This By Now

2009-04-20T14:16:00.000-04:00

But it gives me no small amount of enjoyment, so here ya go.

I'd Go See This.

2009-04-17T11:56:00.000-04:00

No doubt.

Another Pro-Joe Promo

2009-04-16T15:20:00.001-04:00

Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network.
Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network.
Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network.
Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network.
Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network.
Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network.
Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network. Gotta get me Cartoon Network.

Make My (Wed-Ness)Day!

2009-04-16T13:18:00.001-04:00

This is frikkin' sick (the good kind of sick, not the "oh gross" kind).

That is all.

-B-

Drama

2009-04-14T15:54:00.003-04:00

As in "Drama Club." The boy was a prince. Here is the video. If we figure out how to get video off of the video camera, I'll throw some higher quality stuff up here.

Funny the Things You Remember Sometimes

2009-04-10T14:36:00.002-04:00

The other day, for some reason, the memory of something that I *thought* I remembered, maybe, seeing as a kid (I think it was in pre-school, so quite a while ago, back where the memories are kind of fuzzy) but wasn't really sure if it ever really existed at all, popped into my head for some unknown reason. Due to the miracles of the intartubes, I was able to find out that, yes, indeed, it was real and it's available on the YouTube. Here, for your viewing pleasure, via someone else's work, I present this piece of $#!%..."Hardware Wars."

Question: Did people in the late 70's/early 80's mostly look as goofy as these fools, or was this just made by particularly goofy looking people?

Respect.

2009-04-08T12:36:00.003-04:00

Metallica have taken a lot of flack over the last ten years or so for their uneven musical direction, inability to adapt to the digital age and really, really, drama queenish infighting, and probably some other things that I'm forgetting. But. A bunch of guys in their fifties that can still bring it like this deserve your respect:

I also saw a pretty great video of Jeff Beck and Jimmy Page performing "Beck's Bolero" and Immigrant Song" that's worth looking up.

Damn.

2009-04-03T13:34:00.003-04:00

Can someone who's got the Cartoon Network look up when this is going to be on and record it for me, please?

Because I always was a little bit irritated that a solid three minutes of each episode was devoted to the Joes and Cobras firing guns (and knives, swords, harpoons, shurikens, animals, bombs, missiles, you name it) at each other, and yet there was nary a casualty to be seen.

I'm Tryin'. Really I Am.

2009-04-02T17:12:00.004-04:00

Does anyone else remember this dude? He used to come on Sesame Street or the Electric Company or some such once in a while when I was a kid, and I always felt kind of uncomfortable looking at him. I think it had more to do with it being a skinny guy in a body-hugging leotard who would move around in unflattering ways than it had to do with his little body-stocking displaying his organs. I wonder if he's related to Steve Guttenberg? that would probably be a good internet rumor to start :Slim Goodbody is the Gute's older brother. Try that on for size.

I really have been meaning to write some stuff here more often like I was there for a while, but my schedule's still been kind of wonky, not to mention a few other variables that have kept me from sitting zombie-like in front of computer monitor or two. Not to mention I took last week off to putter around in the shop and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Anyhow, I'm trying to keep up with splashing every last humorous, vulgar, witty, silly, disrespectful, and otherwise worthless piece of flotsam and jetsam that strikes my fancy from the far reaches of the internet, so others can laugh at my poor taste in entertainment.

You Got The Touch!

2009-03-17T15:42:00.002-04:00

You got the power!

Fun Fact: Last year Connor would sing this to me all the time. It was awesome. I miss it. I also miss his humming of the Imperial March whenever he'd get sleepy.

Supposedly this is going to be in the new Transformers movie, so that things can come full circle. Too bad they can't bring Orson Wells back from the dead to voice Unicron as well.
Fun Fact: I recently found an old school assignment of Ethan's where he stated something like "Unicron comes along and eats the planet" and his damn teacher marked him down for misspelling "Unicorn." When's the last time you heard of a unicorn eating a damn planet, lady.

Transformers. You were about my third favorite toy growing up, yet you've managed to stay a more prevalent part of my life than the first and second favorite toys.

Effort.

2009-03-17T13:15:00.003-04:00

Man. I was really trying to post more there for a while, but, I've been dealing with writing a grant proposal more than I've been watching cells fall into tubes™ lately, so I had to slow down. But the next time I find some inane bullshit that makes me laugh, or get around to perusing/uploading to the Flickr (or YouTube, I guess) account, I'll get something put up here. Not that there's too terribly many people that check my spot on the interwebs out.

I'll Take...

2009-03-06T09:37:00.000-05:00

...Three please.

And Now, From The Northern European Heavy Metal Forefront

2009-02-26T13:21:00.002-05:00

I can't decide if I think these are two of the best metal songs/videos ever, or two of the worst metal songs/videos either. Either way, they just might rock your damn face off, so watch out.

A surrealist masterpiece if ever there was one.

It is of the utmost importance that you pay special attention to the lyrics in this folk/metal hybrid.

Odd...

2009-02-26T12:34:00.001-05:00

...I always thought it was two women singing this.

I may just go and get my hair cut like that guy's is over my lunch break.

Eat Lead

2009-02-23T12:27:00.002-05:00

It's been a while - twenty years, give or take a year or two - since I've seen a video game that I wanted to get as soon as it was available. But, wow, can I have two, please?

Rock & Roll Party

2009-02-20T14:10:00.003-05:00

To commemorate my turning 30 (last week on the 11th - apparently, the Ayatollahs first came to power in Iran on the day I was born. Huh.), myself and some of the other hacks (not all them are hacks like me, though) that I know are meeting up tomorrow at Captain Cook's in Saranac Lake from 4 to 8 pm to knock the foam off of a couple of pints and play some rock music. If you're reading this and you're in the area (or feel like traveling, in which case, get your ass to an airport right now), you should stop in.

This is what I hope things will sound like:

And this is what things probably really will sound like:

Only not as tight.

Hollywood Has Some Major Catching Up To Do

2009-02-20T09:27:00.001-05:00

It all looks so real:

Randomness...With Lots Of Links

2009-02-19T10:36:00.004-05:00

Here's a bunch of shit I've seen recently on the interwebs. I'm doing a lot of watching cells fall into tubes™ today - and all week, if you can't tell.

I'm so glad that horror movies are finally getting back to silly lots-of-blood-but-nothing-too-realistic-with-lots-of-laughs-and-irony-aplenty fare than the poop that's been churned out for the last several years. Here's an example of something new that's coming out (the f-word gets used a few times, so turn your speakers down at work).

I can totally see that playing on late night TV sometime in the future, with some dude dressed up like Baron Samadi hanging out in a crypt popping up before and after commercial breaks.

Reading this made me feel pain. Damn.

I'll take two, please.

What's that last trap supposed to do, exactly? Or is that why they're called "Booby" traps? Bad pun, bad!

I would watch this movie.

I only recognize about half of the characters seen here. Anyone want to enlighten me?

You know, I like Star Wars too, but really? How could this be necessary? How many of these people do you think are fully functioning members of society (and by fully functioning I mean "not likely to creep you out when you have to sit next to them during your lunch hour")? I'm amused that at least half of the women in the "Legion" have expressions on their face that seem to say "I can't believe I let my boyfriend dress me up in this shit."

By far one of the best ideas ever, and from Sir Elton, no less. I bet that book that's one of Jane Austen's (maybe the same one) only with added zombie carnage is pretty good to.

Yup. Half of this looks delicious, half of it looks completely vomit inducing.

That's all. If anyone still checks this out, that should keep you busy for a while. I've got some pictures to put up after lunch (I've got a looooong sort booked today, so I'll be at the computer until my eyes bleed).

Oh Man...

2009-02-13T12:17:00.001-05:00

...Am I glad that Conan O'Brian's going to be in an earlier time slot soon. I'll still probably fall asleep before his show airs, but at least there's a chance that I'll catch brilliant stuff like this:

Music That You Don't Listen To (But Probably Should)

2009-02-11T12:08:00.005-05:00

Mahavishnu Orchestra. Led by John Mclaughlin (who was in Miles Davis' band for a while, so you know he's solid) was an international group of jazz cats turned rockers - what those in the know call "fusion." Some people complain about the over-the-top musicianship on display here, and at times it does get a bit too technical to be all that enjoyable, but most of the time they throw in enough hooks to keep it catchy while they show off their chops. Here's a video of the whole band:

"One Word"
I'm so glad that we have YouTube now to fill in where date of birth (by the way, for anyone who cares, I turned 30 today! Boo!) has prevented me from seeing some great musicians performing in their heydays.

Here's a video of John Mclaughlin (with Al Di Meola and Paco DeLucia aka The Guitar Trio, who are also awesome in there own right. If I do this again maybe I'll find a video of something from Friday Night In San Francisco to prattle on about) playing a Mahavishnu Orchestra piece (and also one of my favorite songs, this son of a bitch plays in my head a good portion of the time, along with another Mahavishnu tune "Birds Of Fire, which I can't find a decent video of):

"Meeting of the Spirits"

Here's the same thing, electrified:

Grumpy Connor

2009-02-11T09:42:00.003-05:00

Me: Come on Connor, smile for the camera!
Connor: Reh!
Me: But if you put the bag together, the other kids will put Valentine's candies into it later.
Connor: Rowr!
Little Girl Across The Table From Connor: Don't worry, he's always like this when he's at this school.
Me: Oh.

Current Or Not Current?

2009-02-11T09:35:00.001-05:00

Either way, I want to go to there.

Cindy, you're getting a VCR, a gun, and a gold chain of Friday. Hope ya like it!

2nd or 3rd Greatest Thing Ever

2009-02-09T16:06:00.002-05:00

This is no Japanese Hitler, but I think it's pretty great nonetheless. Mostly because, if given the proper tools, it's exactly the kind of thing that one of my kids would create. Hell, if given the proper tools, it's the kind of thing that I would create.

Poor Vader!

2009-02-09T11:29:00.002-05:00

The story is that this ~~kid~~ Dark Lord just got done with having some teeth pulled and the drugs haven't worn off yet. I remember similar things from when I had my wisdom teeth out a few years back. If nothing else, it at least it goes to show that I'm not the only one who makes ass-holey videos of their ~~kids~~ Sith Lords.

Yup.

2009-02-05T11:53:00.003-05:00

This pretty much sums up exactly how I felt about Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull (although I actually didn't mind the nucular assplosion part so much, it was that ALIENS! part of the plot that didn't sit well with me).

I dunno. It had some of the familiar Indiana Jones tropes in there, and I guess it was entertaining enough. But the whole thing just seemed kind of soulless. Like decaffeinated coffee. Or non-alcoholic beer. Or Madonna.

Poor Kid

2009-02-03T10:36:00.002-05:00

The story is that this kid just got done with having some teeth pulled and the drugs haven't worn off yet. I remember similar things from when I had my wisdom teeth out a few years back. If nothing else, it at least it goes to show that I'm not the only one who makes ass-holey videos of their kids.

We Need To Take It To Zeke Before Zeke Takes It To Us

2009-01-30T14:25:00.003-05:00

Two unrelated news stories that might bear some looking into. Was it really hackers that did this, or did big brother step in before mass hysteria could occur? And then, if you read the second-to-last paragraph here, you'll see that something suspicious happened in Montana, as well. Damn undead bastards.

Ephemera

2009-01-30T10:23:00.012-05:00

Is that a real person there in the left hand side of the frame? Did someone's thumb get in front of the camera lens? Am I afraid of the mutants now?

Here's an idea. Let's try to get people to stop getting loaded and punching on their wives...By letting them pretend that they're punching on their wives while they're getting loaded.

I kind of miss living in a place where you'd see guys (and they're almost universally male) like this "practicing" in the local parks. The only excusable thing about this video is that some of these kids seem young enough that it's not too cringe inducing, and the hope for our future is that they'll grow out of it (a few of them do! I hope!). Although it concerns me a bit that they're running around with foam covered weapons and yet still timidly hopping around like a bunch of bunny rabbits. Let me tell you though, it's a breathtaking event (mostly because I was laughing so hard and trying my damnedest not too) to see a 4oolb man dressed in kilt and other "authentic" garb giving lessons on "sword play," in broad daylight, in public, with weaponry made out of PVC pipe and pipe insulators. It's also an interesting experience to walk home from the local pub with a slight buzz on a warm spring evening, taking a shortcut through a town park, and suddenly realize that you've unwittingly stepped into the middle of a group of black clad denizens of the night out re-enacting a vampire battle. At least that's what I tell myself they were doing.

Inspiring. In. Spiring.

2009-01-29T15:26:00.002-05:00

A great video. Compelling and rich.

Flickrd

2009-01-29T14:07:00.003-05:00

I've been meaning to keep up with my "post-more-often-even-if-its-inane-bullshit-I-saw-somewhere-else" policy, but I've actually had things other than watching cells fall into tubes&trade to accomplish this week. And the internets have been a big let down.

Anywho, one thing I've been kicking around the idea of doing for the last year or so is putting up videos of me embarrassing myself, guitar in hand, so that I'll be forced to learn complete songs. Yay or nay? and if yay, any requests? Especially for songs not typically thought of as "solo performance pieces?" It's probably something else I'll never get around to doing, but with sufficient encouragement, I can make an ass of myself for the benefit of the three people that read this blog.

All Those "Other" Times...

2009-01-23T14:51:00.003-05:00

...When I said that something was my favorite thing ever? They don't quite cut the muster if they have to stand up to this:

Beastmaster Jr.

2009-01-20T16:25:00.003-05:00

This is funny (and possibly involves child endangerment):

Also, it has Dio on its soundtrack, and I swear that's a cameo by Uncle Rico in there...

B&J Supersquad!

2009-01-20T14:46:00.003-05:00

I first saw this thing about a month ago, and since then I think I've watched it about ten times and it get's better with each reviewing. I don't know what it is that I think is so hilarious, either. Maybe it's the blank stare that the guy playing the Joker does? It could be the homoerotic gym buddy jokes. It's definitely not the bad acting. Anywho, enjoy.

This Slays Me

2009-01-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

The Creepy L'il Guy

2009-01-16T13:41:00.003-05:00

Back in June I'd mentioned seeing this (fourth picture from the bottom) at "Castle Dracula" in Budapest, but I didn't have a picture handy. Now I do. What's it all mean?

Is That Bill Shakespear Sitting Over There?

2009-01-14T14:24:00.007-05:00

What I am about to show you has got to be the single greatest thing ever printed in a comic book. It's most likely the single greatest quote ever put into print. It might be the single greatest thing ever said, thought of, or achieved by a human mind. Read all of that in your best James Lipton voice for the best effect.

It's from a book called "Tarot." I have heard that it's a terrible comic for many different reasons. I have no inclination to ever check it out. And yet...Can one deny the power in that one word balloon?

Mask!

2009-01-14T14:16:00.002-05:00

That's Really The Guy Who Did Flint's Voice.

2009-01-14T11:48:00.004-05:00

I think.

I love GI Joe (except for the secret foot-stab-in-the-middle-of-the-night feature that only parents get to find out about) and I love robot chicken.

Who knew watching action figure's faces explode could be so damn funny?

The Funny

2009-01-13T15:38:00.003-05:00

I love these guys:

If I get IO, Digital Cable...

Yup, that's the same company that put out the awesome reggaeton commercial I mentioned quite a while ago...

...Like Cindy keeps telling me I can, I'll be able to watch Flight Of The Conchords somewhere other than YouTube while I'm watching cells fall into tubes©.

The only real reason I'm posting this is because they had those guys on NPR this morning so I awoke to the sweet strains of "It's Business Time." North Country NPR is on a roll. Yesterday I woke up to them using Rodrigo y Gabriela's "Tamacun" between segments.

Desmond Finds Snow

2009-01-13T15:14:00.003-05:00

One of the more rewarding things about being a parent is being present for those moments when your offspring experience or notice things for the first time. We took the kids sledding sometime around the end of the year and although Desmond's played in the snow before, there was something fascinating about it to him this time around.

Somebody please hook me up with some video editing software so I can piece things together better and put some nice music over the top so I can stop with all these short clips with my irritating voice as commentary!

Garden Gnomes

2009-01-13T11:24:00.005-05:00

Who needs to buy the ceramic ones when you've got kids?

I can't remember when I took this. Obviously it was during the warmer months, we've now got loads of snow and the daytime high tomorrow is supposed to be something like 0° F. Colder than a witch's chesticle.

Halloween In January

2009-01-09T10:18:00.004-05:00

That's right, *TWO* Batmans and a Robin (after a short conversation with a coworker, it was decided that in cases such as this it is "Batmans" and not "Batmen." Batmen would just be stupid) and some lady we met at Tupper Lake's last remaining disco.

I was only going to post the picture of the kids, then I decided to post this one as a means to explain what kind of an area that Cindy and I live in. I dressed up as a pregnant woman for our improptu "lets go eat sushi and go to one of Lake Placid's terrible night clubs" halloween celebration. Not one, but two different drunk men (both of whom had their "mate" present) suggested they'd like to take me home to perform unspeakable acts upon me. Now I know I'm pretty, but...Sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit thinking about it.

I really need to put a few of the pictures I've flickred in the last two or three months up here...